By the fourth month of life, all babies, including colicky babies, cry a lot less. Long bouts of crying and crying that can't be soothed are rare by the time an infant is five months of age. In the meantime, here are some ideas about what you can do to soothe a baby:

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  • Make baby as comfortable as possible, e.g., check temperature and diaper.
  • Provide gentle motion.
  • Provide soft music or other relaxing sounds, like a vacuum cleaner.
  • Feed baby slowly and burp often.

For more ideas on how to soothe a baby, click here [0].

Things to keep in mind about infant crying:

• Different ways of soothing may work at different times.
• A comforted baby doesn't always mean a quiet baby.
• Even if your attempts to soothe your baby don't stop your baby from crying, your baby is still benefiting from your attention. You are building your baby's trust in you.
• Keep in mind that sometimes a baby just has to cry—crying doesn't always mean that something is wrong.
• When you have done everything you can to meet your baby's needs and your baby keeps crying, you may feel tired, alone, or frustrated. You might feel that you are not doing a good enough job or that your baby is purposely making things hard. It is normal to have strong feelings in response to inconsolable crying; however, you must never shake or otherwise harm a baby.

If at anytime you start feeling tense, frustrated or angry, remember:

• It is more important to stay calm than to stop the crying
• It's OK to ask for help
• Take a break, don't shake

It is more important to stay calm than to stop the crying

When you can't soothe your baby, remember that it is more important for you to stay calm than to stop the crying. Knowing how, and practicing ways, to keep yourself calm will help you through the challenging times now and in the future as your child or children grow up. Different self-calming strategies work for different people. Here are some ideas that might work for you:

• close your eyes and imagine you are somewhere relaxing and pleasant like a warm beach
• read
• listen to music
• take a shower or bath
• take a deep breath and slowly count to 10 or more. Don't think about the problem, just concentrate on your breathing, count and take the time to calm down.
• do something that makes you laugh and/or smile
• yell into a pillow
• hit a punching bag or weight bag

For more ideas on how to stay calm, click here [0].

It's OK to ask for help, in fact sometimes it is the best thing to do.

All parents and caregivers need help, and it is important for you to have a support system in place. Have the phone numbers of people who can help when the crying is too much, such as:

• a neighbour, relative, or friend that can come over right away and help
• the baby's doctor or public health nurse
• Health Link Alberta. Anyone in Alberta can phone Health Link Alberta [1], anytime day or night, to receive free health advice from a trained nurse. You can phone Health Link Alberta about any health concerns, not just about crying babies:
  • In Calgary call (403) 943-5465
  • In Edmonton call (780) 408-5465
  • Or call toll-free in Alberta 1-866-408-5465

Take a break, don't shake

"Take a break, don't shake" is a strategy to help you and other caregivers cope with crying. When the crying is too much:

• Put the baby in a safe place, like the crib.
• Shut the door and take a 15 minute break in another area of your home. Use a timer to help you keep track of the time. Letting your baby cry for a few minutes will not hurt your baby.
• When you are feeling calm, you can try again to soothe your baby. If you don't feel like you can handle things, ask for help. Call someone.

The most common reason given by perpetrators for shaking a baby is that the baby wouldn't stop crying or fussing. For more information about the dangers of shaking and Shaken Baby Syndrome, click here [1].

Parents, know you can trust your baby's other caregivers

Not only can crying be frustrating for parents, crying can be frustrating for the other people who look after your baby as well. So be sure your baby's caregiver knows:

• Babies cry for many reasons.
• Tips for soothing your baby.
• It is NEVER OK to shake a baby.

Ask other caregivers what they will do when the baby can't stop crying. Ask what they will do if they get frustrated or upset with the baby. Tell them that if something happens that they can't handle, it is OK to place the baby in the crib, leave the room and take a break. Let them know who they can call for help, such as:

• the names of close-by neighbours
• the number where you can be reached - assure them that you will return immediately if they feel they are unable to calmly care for the child
• Health Link Alberta

Talk about crying and the dangers of shaking to every person who will look after your children. It can be hard to ask people if they might get frustrated with your baby, try using the When your BABY can't stop CRYING [1]brochure and the Crying Plan [1]as conversation starters. These will help you talk about infant crying and the importance of never shaking a baby with the other people who live with and/or look after your baby. Try to remember that the period of increased crying will come to an end! As a baby grows he or she becomes more settled. By the fourth month of life, all babies, including colicky babies, cry a lot less.